I am the proud parent of 2 elementary aged daughters. We’ve left those baby years behind and, frankly, I couldn’t be happier. Diapers, naps, car seats and non-verbal communications are a thing of the past for us. Something I didn’t count on was how all the mom worries evolve and change over time.
Honestly, I had no idea how many worries came with being a mom. And I really didn’t think about all the ages and stages, and how they lend themselves to all sorts of various scenarios your kids will fall into over the years.
I feel guilty every time I have to call into work for a “sick kid” day. I’d been very envious of my co-worker who’s daughter is in her early 20s and is independent now. Until the morning she called in because her daughter had been in a fairly serious accident. She had hit an icy patch and her car rolled over a few times. That totally cemented the idea that those mom worries never go away. They just change over time. (She was okay, but the car was a write-off.)
When Emma was a baby, and into the toddler years, the mom worries were all me-centric. Could I handle another night of hour plus bedtimes? Would Emma eat something, or would I be trying to fight a losing battle over dinner? How many times will she get up in the night? Looking back I often wonder how I made it through those years where I battled with a lot of anxiety.
Then came Rose who was an angel baby, compared to my Emma. But she went through some phases that caused me some grief as well. There was a span of time where she would throw up in the night. And seemingly for no reason. Even now I don’t know why she did it. But that was a phase, and it’s passed now too.
My biggest set of mom worries now centre around Emma heading into those “tween” years. She’s already told me about some bullying that’s gone on at school. I’m mentally preparing for the “lady time” talk, although I’ve never hidden any parts of my cycle from the girls so I don’t see it being a big deal (I hope!)
Emma is also struggling a bit at school with fine motor skills. Her printing is really not good, but we’re working on getting her concessions to help her out. This year’s teacher has been great, and so the worries aren’t too severe right now. Although the year didn’t start out quite so well. You can read about our early grade 3 struggles in this post.
Rose will be heading into grade 1 in the fall. I think that’s going to mean more (some?) homework, although the little bits she’s brought home in Kindergarten she’s been eager to do. I think I’ll have a few less mom worries where Rose’s reading and homework are concerned. She doesn’t have the extreme distress that came along with Emma’s foray into the world of homework.
As the teen years approach I can only imagine what sorts of mom worries will crop up. More independence, less supervision, new and different friends; they all will mess my with parenting style.
I do feel like I’ve got a bit of a better hold on my own issues (anxiety, stress about things I can’t change, and some time management problems) so I may be able to better focus on the girls and what they need. Wine and deep breaths help a lot too. I’m sure my mom worries will keep evolving, but I plan to evolve along with them!
I’m looking for words of wisdom, or at least commiseration. Share your experiences in the ever-changing world of mom worries with me please! What stage are you in now? What’s your biggest worry for your kids right now, today? Homework battles and changing friendships (which includes bullying) seem to be my big ones right now. So connect with me in the comments.
~Jess
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