The spouse of an IT professional is an interesting breed. Not only are we endlessly patient, but we are also interestingly knowledgeable to a certain degree. We usually have a pretty good internet connection, and frequently updated computers and programs. And we’re really good listeners (even if we don’t retain or understand everything that’s told to us!)
The drawbacks are many as well:
- Spouse is practically always on call.
- They are often late for dinner.
- Overnight or out-of-town jobs are normal.
- And weekend errands sometimes include a “quick stop” at a site to check something out.
My biggest pet peeve as an IT wife is operating as a go-between for coworkers, family members, or really anyone who wants to know if spouse can/has time to look at their computer, connections, or whatever.
The short answer is always “I don’t know.”
Yes, sometimes I do know if he’s overrun, out of town, or just out of patience, but it’s not my place to decide what he can and cannot do, or when.
Related: Confessions of an IT wife: Weekend getaways on the company’s dime
A few workplaces ago, I was frequently called on when technology was not acting right. Often, I could diagnose the problem, but rarely could I actually fix it. The expectation that because my spouse is in IT, I could work magic was something I tolerated there. Even though there was no magic to be made.
Occasionally I could connect with my spouse, and together we could try some solutions, but those instances were rare. Though now I see why I was always called over when something wasn’t working right!
Now that I’m of a certain age, and now that my spouse owns and runs his own business, I can’t pretend that I can fix things anymore. (Not to mention, the IT world grows by leaps and bounds, and what I knew in the early-to-mid 2000s is practically obsolete!) But I also can’t pretend that I know where my spouse is right now, or whether he can, or wants to, look at your computer (network, phone, whatever).
He has a storefront and employees. His business has a phone number and an email address (or 3 or 4). Someone there would be extremely happy to help you out. And if you’re in the inner circle, you have my spouse’s cellphone number. Give him a call. Leave him a message. He’ll get back to you at some point (probably.)
I know this isn’t unique to those with friends or spouses in the tech world – many occupations have this hazard, and all the spouses are well aware. I’m sure electrician spouses get asked if their partner could stop by “for a minute” because a fixture isn’t working. And plumber spouses, well, they surely hear about drips and leaks, clogged toilets, and burst pipes all the time!
But all the spouses would like everyone to know that they are not often able to speak for their partners about their work or their availability. Please follow the proper channels, and be prepared to pay for their work and their time.
My spouse is sometimes irritated by those people who ask him to look at something (ostensibly as a “favour”), and then are annoyed when he takes too long to get to them. Paying customers come first, full stop. If you are annoyed enough to hire someone else to look at your issue (for pay, which people in our lives have done), why did you not hire the spouse’s company to do it in the first place?
So please, if you need something done and you know someone who does that, connect with them through their preferred channels (which is rarely their spouse), offer to pay them, and respect that they do this work every day of the week and may not be interested in doing it for you after hours.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t include a plug for my husband’s IT business. If you are in Kingston, Ontario (or within about two hours’ travel time), and need support for your business, take a look at Fusix and follow them on Facebook.
Leave a Reply